personal · thoughts

Tentang 2016

Assalamu’alaikum.

Kemarin-kemarin saya sudah berencana untuk tidak akan menulis apapun tentang yang saya lalui pada 2016. Melihat teman-teman posting di social media tentang kesuksesan mereka pada tahun lalu membuat saya sedih dan berkecil hati.

Tahun 2016 adalah tahun kesedihan bagi saya, well that’s what I thought, until recently. ada 366 hari di tahun 2016, 75%nya mungkin saya lalui dengan tangis, haha lebay.Awal tahun sudah dihadapkan dengan masalah-masalah murid  yang membuat saya kalut bukan main. Marah, sedih, kecewa, iba, tapi apalah daya saya. I felt useless, so useless.

Kemudian memutuskan resign, sedih sekali rasanya akan meninggalkan murid-murid. Masih ingat benar ketika partner saya akhirnya ngasih tahu murid-murid kalau saya tidak akan bersama mereka di next academic year, dan mereka bertanya “miss kenapa mau keluar? miss ga sayang kita lagi ya?” Nangis lagi….

Datok meninggal, disusul Opanya fira – runi, kemudian Nenek, dalam waktu 2 minggu.

Bulan Juni datang, saya belum punya pekerjaan baru.

Bulan Agustus, saya tidak lulus masuk s3. Kemudian pengangguran. Berteman terus dengan kegagalan, merasakan sakitnya penolakan. Hubungan yang memburuk dengan orang tua. Depresi. Iman naik turun, lebih banyak turunnya.

..dan sekarang Januari….

kemarin saya membaca blognya Paulo Coelho, cukup singkat,tapi mampu menghangatkan hati..judulnya

10 sec reading: My wife and the burnt light

My wife and I were reflecting on the past year, whilst dining at a restaurant.

I started to complain about something that hadn’t happened the way I wanted it to.

My wife focused her attention on a Christmas tree that someone put there. I thought that she wasn’t interested in the conversation, so I changed the subject:
“This tree has a beautiful illumination”?, I said.

“Yes, but if you look carefully you can see one burnt light among dozens.
“ It seems to me that instead of thinking of this year as dozens of enlightened blessings, you chose to look at the one light that did not glow”

kemudian saya berpikir, iya juga ya, kok saya malah fokus ke yang jelek, sementara lupa banyaknya nikmat Allah yang saya terima dalam 366hari tersebut.

alhamdulillah saya masih hidup, sehat,mampu ibadah, masih dalam nikmat islam. Alhamdulillah orangtua masih sehat, masih mendo’akan saya, masih menyayangi saya. Alhamdulillah punya adik yang selalu bisa diandalkan, Alhamdulillah masih bersilaturrahmi dengan keluarga besar bapak,ibuk dan ummi.

Alhamdulillah masih punya rizqi, punya tempat tinggal yang layak,pakaian yang bagus, masih bisa makan enak, masih bisa minum karena air masih melimpah.

alhamdulillah masih bersama maung,meski gabisa terlalu sering ketemu,percayalah kujumpai maung dalam do’a do’aku.
alhamdulillah sering bersama nilam dan ayu. alhamdulillah punya teman berbagi.

alhamdulillah saya dan teman-teman terdekat selalu sepemahaman, terutama dalam soal aqidah, alhamdulillah.

alhamdulillah masih bersama kak ega dan kak melti.

Terus alhamdulillah ngerasain banget apa yang disebutkan dalam hadits ini

“Allah tidak akan memberikan rezeki kepada hamba-Nya yang mukmin, kecuali dari arah yang tiada disangkanya” (H.R. Al-Bayhaqi)”

Yang mana saya dapat motor dari acara reunian SMA. Gratis,tis. STNK dan BPKB diurusin. Saya tinggal ambil. Sungguh senior-senior itu baik sekali. alhamdulillah. Kalaulah hari itu ayu ga ngajakin, kalaulah hari itu kelas KIEI ga dibatalin,kalaulah hari itu Aik ga ngeyakinin saya untuk dateng,akan gimana jadinya. Caranya Allah dalam mendatangkan sesuatu emang ga akan bisa dinalar manusia. :’)

Kesimpulannya, apa ya, insyaa Allah selalu ada hikmah dari tiap kejadian, insyaa Allah selalu ada ganjaran dari setiap ujian.

Saya tutup dengan terjemahan dari surat Al-Hadid,ayat 20

“Ketahuilah, bahwa sesungguhnya kehidupan dunia ini hanyalah permainan dan suatu yang melalaikan, perhiasan dan bermegah-megah antara kamu serta berbangga-banggaan tentang banyaknya harta dan anak, seperti hujan yang tanam-tanamannya mengagumkan para petani; kemudian tanaman itu menjadi kering dan kamu lihat warnanya kuning kemudian menjadi hancur. Dan di akhirat (nanti) ada azab yang keras dan ampunan dari Allah serta keridhaan-Nya. Dan kehidupan dunia ini tidak lain hanyalah kesenangan yang menipu” (QS. Al Hadid: 20)

Wassalamu’alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

personal · thoughts

my 2013 in nutshell

Assalamu’alaikum everyone,it’s 2014 now.
I have put down my wall calendar and change it with new table calendar.
2013 was a great year,indeed.
I leave my job and got my chance to do further study. I met  new people,having wonderful new friends,classmates.
Met the familiar faces on TV,in person quite often. Met 2 cousins of mine for the first time in my lifetime.
My cousins got married,my bestfriend got married.
I’m still in contact with friends I already know like since 15 years ago.
Still a good term with maung and other friends, and best of all, I have my family to support me.

This pic is actually is not enough to describe this year.

so to put it in review :

  • Best moment of the year : Mbapika’s wedding. 

  • Movie of the year           : Despicable me 2. It’s the first time I watched movie together with mbavina,kak indah,ci lily,listy and dessy. I think we got closer after watching this movie. I found it very funny,and still very funny. I’ve watched it like 3 times so far.

  • Best book of the year     : Al-Qur’an. Forever it will be.

  • Concert of the year        : One OK Rock. It’s the only concert I watched in 2013 and it will be my last. No more concert for me.

  • Destination of the year    : Jogjakarta. I’ve completely fallen. 😀

  • Toku babes of the year   : Koyomi. My love.

  • Thing I love the most      : My room. I love it very much and I love it when my friends come and stay for a night or so. Mostly,we’ll have girls talk and go “kyaaaa-kyaaaa”, then fall asleep. I love my room too much that it’s really hard to leave it.This is the reason why I came late to class :p

  • What come and gone     : Sony Xperia S and iPod. I bought my cellphone on may,because my blackberry was crashed, then on December, I lost my iPod,still pretty sad tho.

  • Most serious talk           : Considering my father to re-married. It was happened in august,my father and brother got sick very often,that’s why I think they need a woman figure to take care of them and love them. At first week, I couldn’t stop crying when the idea of my father loving another woman comes to my mind. Then, slowly, I think I will be fine with it. My father still have no interest on it tho. I’m still wishing for the best.

There are billion things to be thankful and be grateful for. InsyaAllah I’ve changed for the better and still will work harder to be better better better muslimah.
Sorry for my broken English. x)
Thank you for coming, wassalamu’alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
friends · personal · sentimental note · thoughts

Their sweet condo,marriage life and other stories to tell :)

Assalamu’alaikum everyone..
I hope you’re in the best condition of health and iman. Happy holiday.

It’s semester break for me already. I have done my final exams, submitted my master thesis proposal, submitted all assignments, so the next task only to wait for my proposal screening schedule which somehow can be really unpredictable.
 Last week my brother was here,we got some quick escapades in Jakarta, then he left on Dec 25, and now I’m pretty much lonely and got nothing to do now.Ahem

Also last week, Bumen,Hanichu and I finally visited mbapika for the first time after she got married. Her condo is wayyyyy too far from my place,which means the distance is in our way to meet more often.
After being misguided by google maps, crossing the way which shouldn’t be crossed,we’re finally there. *feeling accomplished*

The condo is small yet very neat,clean and so mbapika. It reminds me a lot of our roommate era and when she stayed with Hanichu.
At glance,nothing really change. She’s still mbapika we know, her laugh,her pouting face,her gestures,her habits,except for the baby bump in her belly,masyaAllah. Yes, insyaAllah we’ll be aunties next year,alhamdulillah 🙂

What actually changed is that she’s now having completely different life which is too complicated for my league. Ahheeee. I can’t believe the roommate I once lived with,now talk and think about complicated things like their relationship as husband and wife, planning for future house,buying lands, her family financial planning, and how to raise baby of course,not to mention how she deals with her pregnancy. Which is really hard to catch,considering I’m still behaving like a kid,while my bestfriend literally will have a kid. OTL

Unfortunately, I forget to take a picture of her condo. I took a picture of Hani and Bumen instead.

They were imitating the bride and groom pose in their wedding photosoot,much to mbapika’s chagrin x))))
also unfortunately,I don’t have the original version and I couldn’t take good picture because I was terribly shaking and awed seeing their pose,and it’s turn out to be not that good, but they are cute,yes? 😀

Alsooooooooo….talking about thesis now. I choose a topic based on my passion now. What’s my passion? of course it’s “early childhood education”, then in what way it’s related to financial management? well well, it’s best to not reveal it until got the approval, I think.
And it’s part of Bumen,Mbapika,Hanichu and my dream,actually. Hopefully the thesis will be useful for us in the future. aamiin…
Sooner,there’ll be ‘master thesis journal’ tag in this blog, I suppose.

To end this post, let me be thankful about how Allah put me in Presuniv back then, to meet these wonderful people. I was really lucky. They are friends,partners, and older sisters to me at the same time. I miss them so much because we can’t meet frequently unless we make serious planning like weeks before. Looking forward to meet them again.

For now,wassalamu’alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh 🙂

family · Health · spiritual note · thoughts

Syafakallah for us

Assalamu’alaikum silent readers,hehe

how are you? I hope you’re in the best condition of health and iman 🙂
Actually I’m not in a good shape now. I caught a cold,so I snot and cough for every 10 seconds or so,right now. A professor of mine said that,getting sick for so many times while pursuing your master degree,having 1000 hair-falls a day,can’t sleep peacefully every night are considered normal and tolerable. She sounded exaggerating at first,but it makes sense now.

Taken from benefiko’s instagram

Unbeknownst to me,my little brother is actually get sick too. He fainted in school yesterday,caused by his gastritis,then his condition got worse at night and he’s hospitalized. I feel bad because I am not there and my Dad is so busy alone taking care of brother,and he’s just recovered from flu couple days ago. May الله bless him continuously, aamiin.

Health is really a blessing. People often said that we don’t know how precious it was until we get sick. Sickness is a blessing too,it’s like a reminder for us that we’re just nothing without our God,despite all the greatness we have,we can be really powerless when we get sick. Rasulullah SAW said that sickness is the expiation of sins,subhanallah. This is explained in some Hadith,like this one :

For every misfortune, illness, anxiety, grief, or hurt that afflicts a Muslim -even the hurt caused by the pricking of a thorn – Allah removes some of his sins. (
HR. Bukhari no. 5641)

there is more you can learn in here, here and here 
So,don’t forget to be thankful for every situation,be thankful if you’re healthy, be thankful and be patient if you’re sick. I’ll try it 🙂 
Anyway,please wish me and my brother a speedy recovery.
wish to meet you in the next post.
Wassalamu’alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh 🙂
personal · pre-school teaching · thoughts

Moving On..

Assalamu’ailaikum everybody..
This is probably too late,but I want to say this no matter what

                                EID MUBARAK,EVERYONE 🙂

Sad thing is, I think I really didn’t do much on Ramadhan, that’s why I feel like don’t deserve to celebrate eid al-fitr, coz I didn’t win anything 😦
Then,talking about holiday. Luckily, we got 1 month-holiday after short semester,yaiyyyy!!!
Alhamdulillah, I can come back home and celebrate eid with family for this year too 🙂
Me,lil bro,aunty,grandpa,and cousins

Lil Bro with baby niece

Let’s move to another thing. It was always my dream job to be a pre-school teacher,and for these past 7 months I keep lamenting and blabbering about how I miss my old job,how fun it was,how nice the environment was,I hate studying and doing assignments,I wanna go back and quit,so on and so forth. 
So,I visit my former workplace the other day. I didn’t meet any students,because the school time was finished that time. Everything has changed, the teachers already being replaced twice, the day-care babies already grown up,there are new babies also. My former students were pursuing their different ways. Some were made it to prestigious public elementary school, the other,who is not 6 years old yet,moved to private kindergarten which will help them to enter that said private elementary school without test. Some were moving to another town,or taken care of under their grandparents custody. The rest is continuing their education in my former school. 
Then, I feel like I should stop wanting to come back and focusing on my study instead..
Let all the moments of me being a pre-school teacher be a very good memories I want to keep remember. Eventhough I’m not sure the kids will still remember me now,but I’m happy enough 🙂
thoughts

Masril Koto…a change agent..

Assalamu’alaikum..
it’s really been a while since my last post,lotsa things happened to me already…
I owe this blog the explanation,but I’ll do it later… 😀

So,why I bother I write this post? and who’s Masril Koto? What does he mean to me?

so first,I suggest you to google his name…
then you’ll find the wiki page of him and some reliable news that probably will make you go “woah”..
yop,he’s the founder of “Bank Petani”,a bank that give credit to the farmers and practically run by the farmers..though he didn’t even finish the grade school!

then,why do I write this? because I met him last weekend!
listen to his story…and I was like..”woah”..

He might be a bubbly person,he wears merely plain t-shirt,jeans and slipper everytime,he talks with high pitch voice,somewhat intimidating tone,strong minang-accent and somewhat witty…

however, HE MIGHT BE ONE OF THE SMARTEST PEOPLE I’VE EVER MET…
he was talking so passionately about helping people,about making a better neighborhood,better quality of lifee,even better Indonesia..
he understands the capitalist economic system ,he knows politic,and other wide range of knowledge including Rendra’s poems…what a man!
he even pronounced English words correctly.. :O

my mind is totally BLOWN AWAY!
eventhough I live in Baso till my high school time,I didn’t know that such a man existed there!
I feel so wasted :/

 and thanks to him, I believe that even a single man can change the world,now…
and perhaps,I found my dream too after longing for so long *what a waste eh* (//w//)

so,that’s it….InsyaAllah we meet in another post 🙂

thoughts

At least you can help..

It was a rainy day when my bestfriends jokingly suggested why wouldn’t I be a socialite from now on,since I got nothing to do in daily basis. I laughed, ironic eh? how can a ‘nearly anti-social’ girl like me be a socialite? I don’t like party, I got headache in the crowd, I don’t really like being sociable…etc,etc…
in other words,it’s far from possible that I’ll be a socialite.. 😀

I want to be a charitable person instead…
Later,if I have a full-time job or well-established business, I want to devote my self to charity,to share my happiness all this time….

anyway,I have paid more attention to Yayasan Kasih Anak Kanker Indonesia for months now.
Cancer is always being a ‘ghost’ to my family,considering how many family members were taken by cancer.
It might be really painful, moreover to kids. When I watched about this foundations on tv,I was crying ,seeing those skinny and baldy kids smiling and very happy seeing tv crews. That was really precious..

In fact,I can’t donate much,nor I can directly volunteering like a bestfriend did (sure,she’s amazing,and she keeps it secret for 2 years).


However,I hope to those who read my blog (ok,I’m not sure there are many readers tho),can pay attention to YKAKI too. Click here to get more information about donation.

Thank you for reading this, see you and have a nice day 🙂

credit pics :YKAKI