family · master thesis journal · personal

Other lessons of life

Assalamu’alaikum everyone..
How’s everyone doing? It’s already the middle of February,how fast eh?
So, during this one and half month after my last blogpost,I’ve encountered many things and alhamdulillah I’ve learned quite good lesson of life.
In January,me,who was supposed to be enjoying my semester holiday and who planned to do thesis on early childhood education related had to face the ugly truth. My proposal was rejected twice, in other words, I had to re-write the thesis proposal right from the beginning in only one week,two times, went for proposal defense two times,assaulted two times. For the third times,I finally passed,but with a suggestion to change my main journal,which means,I have to start right from the beginning,once again.
I thought that was a big problem, I was thinking I’m the most miserable person in the whole world,because nothing went well as planned, I failed to filled up my family’s expectation, because I thought,failed twice would make my father sad.
That’s when Allah made me realize I was wrong. I am so lucky and my problem is just soooooo very trivial,unnecessary and I don’t even have the right to complain,because there are so many blessings I forgot to be thankful for. I was really stupid, don’t you think so?
After the third screening,I finally took sometimes to go home. I planned to stay only for 5 days tho. Once again,Allah showed me that me as a human only can plan something,it’s Him who has the right to execute all. That time,my brother was hospitalized once again and I had to took care of him.
 Alhamdulillah, Allah made everything easier for us,Allahuakbar. Even I and dad was having attempt to selfie in hospital. He was doing his best to show off his teeth because I insisted so bad,but that’s to funny that I end up laughing so hard and shaking,so the picture turned out so bad, then when I asked to do it once again, dad said he didn’t want to x(
 Eventually,it’s his 18th birthday, and we cannot celebrate it because he’s still bedridden,and my dad’s quite busy to give a surprise or something. However, his friend came to celebrate it,giving him surprise,birthday cake and a meaningful birthday present. 
That’s so heartwarming,and I’m being thankful for his friends too. My brother recover after 3 days,alhamdulillah.
Anyway,that’s not the end of the story.  At the same day my brother allowed to go home,I fainted, I vomited many times, my body temperature was so high, I couldn’t eat anything,and  I barely have any consciousness, my dad rushed brought me to emergency unit of the same hospital that took care of my brother. What I thought that time was “I’m only a useless person, I only burden to my dad and brother,even being 22 years,I’m still useless”, in my bare consciousness, I apologized to Dad for making tired and be a burden to him. Dad said it’s okay,because I am his daughter,his responsibility, Allah put us in that situation,insyaAllah we can through it. I could only cried in silent.

That was the first time of me being hospitalized. I was diagnosed with having dyspepsia,fever and my lever didn’t function quite well.  Alhamdulillah, I only have to get rest well as much as I can to recover. Alhamdulillah.

Health is really a blessing, we only know how precious it is when we become sick. However,sickness also a blessing,it reduced our sins. Went through all of this events made me being thankful more and more, I learn more how to be patient, and to not over-thinking. MasyaAllah.
Now I’m already back in Jakarta, have to attend class and be ready for my thesis. Bismillah.
Thank you for having some time to read this. May you are in the best health and iman.
The right things only come from Allah, the wrong belongs to me only.
See you in the next post insyaAllah.
Wassalamu’alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh 🙂